Baka Usagi
by YugureMaho
Summary: A collection of drabbles and oneshots based on the LaviYuu pairing that, in the eyes of Kanda, prove once and for all that Lavi is really and truly a baka usagi. Warning: Crack, randomness, un-canon details and events, unneeded OCs. Shot One: "Rabbit".


**Just so you guys know, Maho and I are being used as OCs in this story.**

**Disclaimer: We don't own –man, nor do we wish to. Neither of us can draw worth squat.**

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"Did you know General Tiedoll is back?"

"Apparently he's brought a new exorcist with him."

"Marie's hurt. He's in the hospital ward."

"Daisya didn't come with them this time. I wonder what's wrong."

"I just ran into the new guy. He's scary."

Lavi bit his lip and put his head on the table in a sulk. Apparently everyone had run into the scary longhaired beauty of a new _male_ exorcist.

Everyone except him. Poor Lavi felt left out.

"Lavi!" a female voice called out from behind him. He turned, pout still in place. "Have you met the new exorcist yet?"

"No. And you have?"

"Yep!" Yuugre smiled. "He's rather short, compared to me, anyway, and his hair is really long. He looks like a girl, if you look from the right angle."

"Why am I the only one?" Lavi nearly cried. Even the _other_ new exorcist had seen him!

"Because he's intentionally avoiding you."

She sat down, long brown hair swishing behind her in a tangled mess.

"I accidentally let slip that you pull lots of pranks."

Lavi glared at Yuugre. She had ruined his chances of a new toy… er… friend! Then a brilliant idea dawned on him.

"He's got to eat sometime! I'll just wait here until he comes. Stay here with me until then, Yuu-tama!

Yuugre flinched at the childish Japanese honorific but was quickly trapped by Lavi's arm as he threw it around her shoulders and started chatting loudly. A few people at the surrounding tables looked over but quickly returned to eating.

"I'd suggest you kindly remove your arm from its current position before I blast it off," and irritated-sounding voice growled from behind them. Once again Lavi turned around, this time raising his hands in surrender.

"H-hello, Maho. Why are you here?" he said in mock fear.

"That's better. You won't meet him waiting here, though. He's already eaten."

Lavi's pout returned full force as Maho set down her tray laden with soup, sushi, and various breads.

"Darn it, Yuu-tama! This is all your fault!"

"It is not! I was talking with Lennalee and he overheard!"

"You can't prove that!"

"Yes I can!"

"Then prove it!"

"I will!"

"SHUT UP!!!!!!!!"

Maho shoved a sushi roll into Yuugre's mouth and a slice of sourdough bread into Lavi's. Yuugre promptly spat out the rice and raw salmon wrapped in seaweed while Lavi munched happily on the unexpected gift of warm bread.

"Bleagh! How can you eat that stuff, Maho? It's gross!"

Maho rolled her eyes and put a piece of sushi into her mouth.

"Like that, apparently," Lavi commented past giggles. Yuugre shot him a look, but it went unnoticed.

"I thought you'd said he's already eaten, Maho! Wow, he really does look slightly girlish…"

Apparently 'he' could hear Lavi and didn't appreciate that final comment, because the thirteen-year-old Kanda Yuu shot him a death glare to rival Maho's worst look.

"Must have been mistaken. Now finish your dinner and move it back to the library. Bookman's been on my case all day, and I got saddled with your work again. I've been organizing records for the past three hours. Seeing as it's technically not my responsibility to do so – I'm not a bookman apprentice yet – I'd appreciate it if you would take over from here on."

"And that's code for…" Lavi asked turning away from the glaring Kanda to look quizzically at Yuugre.

"It means 'Get off of your butt and hop all the way to the library, hyperactive idiot'," Yuugre translated, imitating Maho's voice. "Did I sound right?"

Lavi thought for a moment. "Um…put more emotion into it and sound grouchier. Deepen your voice just a touch."

"GET OFF OF YOUR ASS AND HOP TO THE LIBRARY, YOU HYPERACTIVE, IDIOTIC, ANNOYING RED-HAIRED RABBIT!!!!!!!" Maho screamed in Lavi's ear, standing up for emphasis.

"Ow…" he groaned, "I asked Yuu-tama to translate for a reason."

"Go!" Maho growled, pointing.

"I'm going, I'm going!"

Kanda scoffed as the red-haired boy scurried from the table he had been sitting at and fled towards the door.

_Rabbit…_ he thought, considering, _it does fit him._

And that was how Kanda came to call Lavi 'Baka Usagi'.


End file.
